My Type of Girl

I've been asked what my type is before, and honestly, I don't think I have a very specific physical "type."

Obviously I need to find her attractive. That's part of it.

But I've realized that I'm much more into the person I vibe with.

You know when you meet someone and conversation just... works?

You don't have to manufacture things to talk about. You can talk about something serious for an hour, then immediately start saying the dumbest shit imaginable. You don't feel like you're performing around them.

That's probably the biggest thing for me.

I want that "oh, I really like being around this person" feeling.

I like strong girls

And by strong, I don't mean physically strong lol.

I mean someone who can handle life.

Someone who has her own opinions and isn't afraid to tell me when she disagrees with me.

Someone who doesn't change what she believes depending on who she's talking to.

Someone independent.

I don't want someone who just follows me everywhere and agrees with everything I say.

Have your own life.

Have your own friends.

Have your own goals.

Have your own opinions.

Tell me I'm wrong sometimes.

Actually, please do.

I want to respect the person I'm with, not just be attracted to her.

But also loving as hell

This is equally important.

I want someone caring.

Someone affectionate.

Someone who notices when something is off with me.

Someone I can talk to when I've had an absolutely horrible day and don't need solutions, strategies or some five-step plan.

Sometimes I just want:

"It's okay. I'm here."

And obviously I want to be that person for her too.

If she's having the worst week of her life, I want her to know there's at least one person she can call without wondering whether she's bothering him.

I think that's a huge part of what I want from a relationship.

Not just romance.

Emotional safety.

Empathy is insanely attractive

I like people who can understand that the world doesn't revolve around their own experience.

Someone who tries to understand why another person feels the way they do before immediately judging them.

Someone kind to people even when there's nothing to gain from being kind.

How you treat waiters, strangers, animals, your parents, your friends, people below you professionally... I notice that stuff.

You can tell a lot about someone from how they treat people they don't need.

Emotional maturity

Please just communicate 😭

I don't want:

"I'm fine."

followed by three days of psychological warfare.

If I did something wrong, tell me.

If you're insecure about something, tell me.

If you're angry with me, tell me.

If you disagree with me, tell me.

And I'll try to do the same.

We're obviously going to fight sometimes.

I don't expect some magical relationship where two people agree about everything forever.

But I want us to be able to fight without trying to hurt each other.

No intentionally making each other jealous.

No threatening breakups every time something goes wrong.

No keeping score.

No trying to "win" an argument against your own partner.

It's supposed to be us vs the problem, not me vs you.

Loyalty matters a LOT to me

Probably one of my biggest things.

If I'm properly in love with someone, I'm in.

And I want the same thing back.

Not just physically faithful either.

I mean that feeling that this person genuinely has your back.

If I'm going through the worst period of my life, she's there.

If she's going through hers, I'm there.

Obviously relationships can end and people can change. I'm not talking about staying in something unhealthy forever.

I just don't want love that disappears the second life becomes inconvenient.

I want someone relentless

This one might be slightly unusual.

I really like people who don't give up easily.

Life hits them.

They get upset.

Maybe they cry.

Maybe everything goes wrong for a while.

But eventually they're like:

"Okay. What now?"

And they keep moving.

That's incredibly attractive to me.

Not someone pretending to be emotionless.

Someone who feels everything and still gets back up.

Push me

I don't want my girlfriend to just watch me waste my potential.

If you know I can do better, tell me.

If I'm procrastinating for weeks and making excuses, call me out.

If I accomplish something, celebrate with me.

Then eventually ask:

"Okay, what's next?"

I want someone who believes in me enough to expect more from me.

And I want to do exactly the same for her.

If she has some crazy goal, I want to be the guy saying:

"Okay. How are we making this happen?"

Not:

"Be realistic."

I want both of us to look back after a few years and realize we became better people partly because we had each other.

I don't want a "baddie"

This is probably the easiest way to describe my physical/personality preference.

I don't really want a "baddie."

I want a goodie 😭

Cute > hot.

Sweet > intimidating.

Someone I look at and think awww more often than damn.

Obviously I'd still find my girlfriend hot. Those aren't mutually exclusive.

But the whole ultra-glamorous, too-cool-for-everyone, Instagram-baddie thing isn't really what I'm drawn toward.

Give me the cute girl with the nice smile.

The girl who's sweet but can absolutely roast me.

The girl who looks innocent and then says the most unhinged thing I've heard all week.

That's much more my type.

I want her to have her own opinions

This deserves its own section because it's genuinely important to me.

I don't want:

"Whatever you want."

to be the answer to everything.

Tell me what you want.

Tell me what you think.

If we disagree about something, great.

Maybe you change my mind.

Maybe I change yours.

Maybe neither of us changes our mind and we move on.

I think I'd actually get bored dating someone who agreed with me about absolutely everything.

I want to discover another person's brain.

And we need to be able to be stupid together

Strong, independent, emotionally mature, empathetic...

This is starting to sound like a job description 😭

So one more requirement:

Please be stupid with me.

I want inside jokes.

Random reels.

Teasing each other.

Random drives.

Talking at 1 AM about whether aliens would have capitalism.

Play fighting over something completely meaningless.

Doing dumb things purely because they're funny.

I want her to be someone I can have incredibly serious conversations with, but also someone I can lose 40 IQ points around.

Girlfriend + best friend is basically the goal.

So what's my type?

I guess if I had to actually describe her:

She's strong.

Independent.

Loving.

Caring.

Supportive.

Empathetic.

Loyal.

Emotionally mature.

She has her own opinions.

She's relentless when life gets difficult.

She pushes me when she knows I'm capable of more.

She's there when I need emotional support, and she knows I'll be there when she needs it.

She's cute.

She's a little weird.

She's someone I can talk to about absolutely anything.

And most importantly...

we just vibe.

Because I could probably find someone who checks every box I've written here and still not fall in love with her.

People aren't checklists.

There has to be that thing you can't really put into words.

You want to talk to her.

You want to tell her things.

Something happens during your day and she's one of the first people you want to tell.

Being around her feels easy.

You admire her.

You trust her.

You're attracted to her.

And somehow she's simultaneously your girlfriend, your emotional safe place, your biggest supporter, your occasional reality check and one of your favorite people to be stupid with.

That's my type.

Not a baddie.

My goodie.