komod sucks squat toilet ftw

I never really thought I'd have an opinion on toilets until I started travelling more.

At home, I've mostly used squat toilets, so that's just normal for me. But whenever I travel and stay in hotels, airports, etc., it's almost always a commode. And every single time I use one I'm reminded how much I hate them.

First of all, the seat.

If it's my own toilet, fine. But in a hotel or public washroom? I don't know who sat there before me. Sometimes the seat is already wet too, which makes it even worse.

So now before I can even shit, I'm cleaning the seat, taking toilet paper and putting it all around the seat just so I can sit without thinking about it.

Then I actually sit down and there's another problem.

My penis.

I don't know if this is just how I sit or if some toilets are badly designed, but I constantly have to make sure it doesn't touch the inside of the toilet. Sometimes I literally have to hold it up with my hand the entire time.

How is this comfortable?

Then you poop and sometimes the water splashes back up.

Probably one of the worst feelings imaginable. I don't want the same water my shit just fell into coming back to say hello.

And then comes washing.

I'm Indian. I'm washing my ass with water. Toilet paper alone is not happening.

But washing with a health faucet while sitting on a commode feels so unnecessarily complicated. I have to move around weirdly, figure out where to spray from, make sure I'm actually cleaning properly, and somehow not get water everywhere.

Half the time my legs get wet. The seat gets wet. Sometimes the floor gets wet.

Maybe there's a technique to this that I've somehow missed my entire life, but why does taking a shit require this much coordination?

With a squat toilet, I never think about any of this.

Walk in. Squat.

My ass isn't touching anything. I don't care who used the toilet before me as long as the floor is reasonably clean. Everything is already in a position where washing with water feels natural. Wash, get up, done.

There's also apparently some actual science behind the squatting position. Squatting changes the angle down there and can make it easier to poop with less straining. It's basically why those little toilet footstools exist — people are trying to recreate part of the squatting position while sitting on a Western toilet.

Obviously, commodes make way more sense for elderly people, people with disabilities, knee problems, injuries, or anyone who simply can't squat comfortably. And your own clean commode at home is very different from using some random toilet while travelling.

But for me, after using commodes again and again while travelling, I've somehow come back with a stronger appreciation for the most basic toilet possible.

Give me the squat toilet.

I don't need a seat.

I don't need a toilet-paper barricade.

I don't want toilet water splashing my ass.

And I definitely don't want to hold my penis for the entire duration of a shit.

I just want to poop, wash my ass properly, and leave.